This bread + butter girl tabling the resolutions

Happy New Year bread + butter fans! I hope you enjoyed the past week of festivities. Here we are facing a weekend of taking down Christmas decorations, catching up on homework and maybe squeezing in a little tubing or a movie. I thought I would take this opportunity to share a column I wrote last year about resolutions that still rings pretty true for me. I hope you enjoy it. Check back tomorrow for some new "limited time only" bread + butter products. It's snowing here in Newburyport, MA!
~Sue
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Ah, good old January is here. A month when we start fresh, forgetting all those disastrous decisions we’ve made, mounting debt we’ve accumulated and filthy habits we’ve acquired. A time when we lie to ourselves that the new year ahead will be different; we will exercise more, eat healthier, and write that novel we know is inside us somewhere. We will buy that gratitude journal that Oprah insists we need, and spend our evenings chronicling what we are thankful for rather than watching those silly reality shows like Big Brother and Mama’s Boy.

Snap out of it!

If you’re anything like me, the likelihood of any of that happening is about the same as seeing Angelina Jolie eat a pastrami sandwich. So just relax in the knowledge that you are among friends in your synthetic, superficial existence. In fact, this year, I’m reveling in my ability to face the ugly truth head on. I will be no better this year than in past years; in fact, odds are that I’ll be just a little worse. Let’s face it, there are episodes of Sex and the City still worth watching; good wines that have yet to be tasted, and plenty of people just begging to be mocked. There are offensive jokes and little white lies that need to be told. And there is plenty of chocolate to be eaten.

So I will vow to be simply who I am this year because, after forty-and-a-few years, it is unlikely that I can affect any real lasting change. Imagine Donald Trump spending a holiday in a soup kitchen or Regis Philbin not talking about himself incessantly? Yes, these would be welcome changes but almost creepy due to their sheer improbability. So I figure, why scare the people who love me by going to the gym, eating fiber or learning a second language?

If I keep my standards preposterously low, they will not be forced to adapt to the new and improved me. I’m doing this for my family (and for Angelina, who can take the good deed award for adopting 27 more children).

Now, in true David Letterman style, I will state the top 10 reasons you should avoid making any resolutions this year. However, since coming up with 10 reasons would be far too taxing a goal, I will lower the bar and provide just seven – less writing for me, less reading for you. It’s really a win/win situation.

Refusing to make any resolutions will:

•Save you the embarrassment of being laughed at you when you unveil the newest plan for how you will attain your financial freedom…in 10 days or less.

•Help you avoid being accountable for your bad behavior. Hey, you didn’t promise a rose garden.

•Start a new trend – the slacker resolutionists. It has a nice ring to it.

•Save a tree; think of the paper you’ll spare by not writing down any goals. Be sure not to speak them aloud either…or even think about them.

•Spare you the time and agony of reading those self help books like “Eat, Pray, Love” and “The Secret.” Self-Discovery. Awakening. Acceptance. (Blah. Blah. And Blah.)

•Help others understand “tis always better to underpromise and overdeliver.” Promising absolutely nothing is a surefire way to beat expectations.

•And finally…show the world that you are comfortable in your own skin – even if it just covers up your lazy, no good, do nothing body.

Don’t you feel better now, knowing there are a whole lot of us out there that do not aspire to greatness? I mean, who needs to learn German or publish a book; there are plenty of us that are thrilled when we find a good parking spot, get that perfect cup of coffee or have another parent tell us that our kid is well mannered. Does this make us bad people?

In these crazy, uncertain times, I resolve only to be a good person. If I am successful at that, anything else – splitting an atom, winning a Pulitzer Prize, running a marathon – is all gravy. And if that makes me a slacker, well maybe I can live with that.

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